December 07, 2017

Braving The Wilderness
Chapter 5
 
In chapter five Brene calls us to a practice that is difficult to engage in...

Speak Truth to BS, be civil.

What do you do when someone has a vastly different opinion than you?

Recognizing BS in the culture makes my stomach burn and heart race. I have to do real work to stay calm and grounded when talking with someone I seriously disagree with.

I often will talk to myself, "I know you feel like you are in danger but it's ok. We will get through this."

Brene gives us seven guidelines that help us stay civil. 

1) Boundaries
2) Reliability
3) Accountability
4) Vault - confidentiality
5) Integrity
6) Non-judgement
7) Generosity

All of these are helpful in conflict. The one I want to focus on today is Non-judgement. I want to focus on it because it is so difficult and feeling  judged is so painful.

Non-judgement moves us from, "He thinks he is so... " to, "I will believe the best about the person".

Instead of, " They don't know what they are talking about!" to, "help me understand your point of view."

Staying out of judgment frees us up to hear other perspectives and look at people in a different light. It breaks down the barriers that keep us from seeing and hearing that the world is full of great people who all have treasure inside of them.

Who have you judged recently?

If you remove judgment what do you see that you didn't see before?

When we stay out of judgement the world becomes a bigger place!

 

Be Comforted,

Donna Durham, MMFT


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What Blanket Weight Should I Buy?

A general rule when purchasing a weighted blanket is taking your weight and multiplying it by .10, or taking 10% of your body weight. Using that number, follow the chart below to guide you in finding the perfect blanket!

100 - 130 lbs
Quilted Cotton 10 lb
Flannel 10 lb
CoolMax® 15 lb
140 - 170 lbs
Quilted Cotton 15 lb
Flannel 15 lb
CoolMax® 15 lb
180 - 200 lbs
Quilted Cotton 20 lb
Flannel 20 lb
CoolMax® 20 lb
220 + lbs
Quilted Cotton N / A
Flannel N / A
CoolMax® 25 lb

 

Fall in between two different weight limits for two blankets? We suggest going with the smaller of the two blanket weights.

Still not sure which size to buy? Most of our customers buy one of the 15-pound blankets.